My heart was pounding.  My head was aching.

The cold concrete slid roughly across my bare feet. With each step, my legs became a greater weight.

The icy air slithered through the holes in my shirt, silently grazing my skin.

How did I get here?

Questions were racing through my mind. I had no time to find the answers. More and more empty holes were being created in my fragile universe.

I felt a swelling emotion coming up through my body. Starting at my toes, it pummeled upwards consuming every inch of me. The feeling expanded in my chest and begged me to let it escape.

Unwillingly, the tears began to roll down my face.  My body trembled as the swell completely took me over.  Tears blinded my sight.  My toes hit imaginary cracks in the familiar sidewalk.  I stopped.  I cried harder.

The past two days had been a nightmarish blur.  I was confused, but most of all I was scared.

I am not who I thought I was.

How did I get here?

My throat croaked as I let out a low moan. I slowly lowered the rest of my body down onto the pavement.

Did that really just happen?

I pulled my legs up to my chest and thrust my head into my knees.  I could feel my wispy hair swirling around with the wind. My eyes tried to focus on the crooked pavement.  I shook with a million emotions racing through me.


My shirt smelt of a sweet scent, a familiar scent. My sister’s favorite perfume. That made me cry harder.

Is this the end?

It felt like it.

I wrenched my head back from my knees.

God, why me?

My body started wrenching awkwardly as if the emotions themselves were trying to literally pull themselves out and enter the world. The tears slowed as I gasped for air.

My mind began to move slower as my breathing became patterned.  I lowered my head all the way to the concrete.  I noticed the dark, white billowy clouds above me. They moved so slowly, so….quietly.

For a moment, I thought the sun might come out. But within that same thought, a white speck caught my eyes. It was snowing.

I watched the snow gently sway down from the sky. The specks sat silently upon me but were soon gone.  Their brief presence left small dark circles on my clothes.

How did I get here? That was the first question I wanted to answer.  A question with what seemed like infinite answers. My choices had lead to such a solution.

I watched as a speck daringly tried to place itself in my eye, but I was quicker.

How did I get here?


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