Monthly Archives: December 2014


This is a dream. This is not real.

I am not running. I will wake up and I will be home. Asleep. Warm. Home.

Pain shoots through my feet as thorns pierce my bare skin. The blood is warm for a second until it hits the ground. But I don’t feel it. This is a dream.

Guns cannot hurt you in dreams. They fire and pop. The bullets whistle and move. When they finally hit you after a long second has passed, your skin folds in and gives way. The organs are soft feathers to gently cushion the powerful blow. Lodged inside you, it’s hard metal burns. You grasp at yourself, desperately tightening. Squeezing. The hole is small but fatal.

But this is a dream and in dreams you cannot die. Because if you die, there will be no dream. You will wake and it will all be behind you.


I stop. My breath paints the dark sky with mist. Dropping to my knees, I notice the rag that was once my night gown. Threads jut from all places, twisted and twined. The white has taken on a darker tone. A witness to my falls.

There is salt in my eyes. The cloudiness blurs the world around me. I look down at the leaf ridden floor. The dampness of the night has begun to sink through the thin gown. My legs begin to grow cold.

I lower myself further. The coolness is a blessing compared to the heat that continues to grow in my belly.

On the ground, I can smell the dirt. A mixture of decomposing foliage and dust.

But it is good here and my muscles begin to relax. I let my eyes close and my thoughts erase. It will be soon now, that I will wake.

JUST FINISHED: Crooked River

Author: Valerie Geary

Genre: Mystery

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

Two young girls find a dead body of a woman floating in a river near their home. The sight of the woman evokes a sense of questionable fear and resurfaces their feelings of sorrow from their own mother’s death only a few weeks before. Clues start surfacing and everyone begins to point the finger at their own father. But neither girls believe that their father could do such a thing and begin in their own way to unravel the mystery, sometimes helping and sometimes worsening the whole situation.

Geary produced an easy read filled with flowing imagery that explores the concepts of grief, love, and forgiveness. What I enjoyed about this novel was the slow, nostalgic way that Geary writes. It draws you in and keeps you there.

The negative items were the “too big clues” and irrational character decisions. What I mean by “too big clues” (SPOILER ALERT) were items that obviously point towards the truth behind the murder motive and murderer before it should be unveiled. The murderer’s son, Travis, trying to plant a lighter in the meadow. Travis catching Sam trying to throw away the jacket. The rude reaction of Mrs. Roth when Sam and Ollie are at the Attic store. The crazy talk from Mr. Roth to Ollie. I shouldn’t be able to pin point the murderer by the fourth chapter. Moves like that make that plot point not as intriguing.

Irrational character decisions is a pet peeve for me. An adult who realizes he may have a jacket belonging to a murder victim turns it in immediately if they are innocent. They don’t hold onto it, waiting for a child to do an adult’s job. I realize Bear himself was still growing, but still, really? The second big irrationality was on the Roth’s. You burn evidence left from your murder victim. Or dump it somewhere. You don’t randomly keep it locked up in your work basement or carry her lighter around in your pocket and use it. Especially in front of the person-who-you-are-trying-to-frame’s daughter. The third is deciding to kidnap a little girl and convince her sister to come alone to free her on the condition that she’ll confess a false story. No, no it just doesn’t happen like that. If you received a call that someone confessed to having your sister and for you to come alone, you call the police. You would never go to a possible murderer’s house alone. I mean seriously, what are your chances of coming out alive? And as the kidnapper, how irresponsible do you get? Why even kidnap a little girl who found some evidence? No one would believe a little girl who doesn’t talk! Just kick her out and burn it! You also would not keep the kidnappee in a maniac’s workshop if you intend to let her live….there’s just way too many things near the end that are “movie syndrome.” Doing the impossible and illogical to finish the plot.

Overall this was an alright novel. Not the greatest of mysteries, but at least enough to keep me interested.


Blood shot eyes

have become the best of me.


The heaviness,

never lessening,

pours its way through,


melting the tunnels of veins,

crushing it all in.

Look at what I became.


Broken and confused,

a sad refuge

to where I escape

is hidden in the depths

of the faceless reflection in front of me.


I’m moving in circles

all while plummeting down.

I’ve covered my eyes

because if I don’t see it,

it can’t be the truth.

It will all just be lost to the darkness.


Like me.


Like you.