Monthly Archives: January 2017

TOXIC

My heart beats loud
in my chest
as the nerves
give way to unrest.

A toxic potion
of anxiety and depression.
I swallowed it whole
and can feel the pressure.

With my mind
I tried to push the weight
but after hours,
I was still in the same place.

Trapped
by my own emotion.
Frantically
grappling with though erosion.

I’ve sent out the flare
and am waiting on the answer.
Will time bring someone
to be my savior?

AFTERNOON

Not sure where I want to go or if I’m even going anywhere on this one…but that’s just what excerpts are…

My back was aching again. I pushed the fabric cart forward trying to diminish the pain, but it kept sweeping up my spine. Pausing in the hall, I lightly pressed my fingers on the lower part of my back and straightened.

Four more hours to go. These sheets weren’t going to wash themselves.

I stooped back down and headed for the elevator.

A young girl waited there, dressed in a yellow pleated skirt holding tight to a small blue purse. Her face was scrunched as she stared down at the patterned carpet of the hall.

Hello.” I smiled warmly.

She glanced quickly at me and then brought her eyes straight back to the floor. I frowned. I usually at least get a smile back from young ones.

The elevator dinged and slid open, inviting us into it’s dull metallic shimmer. I waited for her to walk in and then shifted my weight to slide the cart across the threshold, feeling by back tighten as I pushed.

Stubbing in the plastic button for level one, I turned and asked, “What floor, hun?”

She shrugged and continued her downward look. Her right hand tightened on her purse.

Alrighty,” I whispered under my breathe. “Hopefully one it is.”
A strange, nas
al whine began to come from the corner where she stood as the elevator began it’s descent. Her face wrinkled and tears began running from her eyes.

Surprised by the girls reaction, I asked, “Do you have a fear of elevators or something?”

She shook her head violently, wiping her hand across her nose. “No….it’s just…”

My eyes widened as I waited for her to finish the sentence, which took some effort as she struggled to composed herself.

I’m pregnant,” she finally said.

The elevator dinged as the shiny doors slid open. Unsure of how to reply, I stood at the doors motionless. Do I comfort her? Or should I be looking for her parents? Why was she by herself anyway?

But before I had decided on the answer, the girl rushed past me in a daze and began sprinting down the hall. I watched as she ran out the glass door and turned towards the street.

CARRY ME

Can you carry me?
Because I can’t.
I’ve carried so many so far.
I’ve been used, borrowed, begged and forced.
I can no longer take this course.

Can I ask you how it became this way?
What has changed you to the person so?
I don’t think you know.
Nobody does.

I am sick of this.
I am tired and low.
Can I rely on someone else for once?
Once?
Once!

For me,
not their image of me.
Their projection of me.
The actual me.

I was told that ignorance is bliss.
The older I get,
The more truth I see to it.
For what the ignorant don’t carry, I must.
And it is a long, weary road.
Can you carry me?