Insanity

Sometimes
I feel like
no matter how hard I try
I just can’t get it right.

Every ounce of effort
is positive and forward.
I am determined
but still short.

The emotion
of cyclic failure
is wearing me down.

My mind has become foggy
short-circuiting and skipping
words are misplaced
and memories are incomplete
or even erased.

While patience and calm exude from the outside,
it is utter pandemonium within.
How far down can this stress drag me?
And why do I let it take over again and again?

Are my expectations too high?
Does perfection seem a reality?
Is this insanity?

One thing is for certain.
If I continue on like this
there will be nothing left of me.
Only dreams of a life
that could be.

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