Author Archives: zeven37

Lost It

I lost my passion.
That burning drive
and fire.

I don’t know where it went
or how I lost it.
I just know it’s gone.

Strange thing is
I can’t really say I miss it.
Other feelings filled the void.

Or
Maybe they’re not feelings,
really.
Just business and tasks that are
an adult’s daily chores.

There is a certain cyclicness to my life now.
A carefully charted path
with nothing unperceivable
and completely flat.

Oh – flatlining?
What a term for the living!
To stay straight on a narrow line.

Are we not all just cogs in one big machine?
So Pecknold says.
Is that our destiny?

Ridiculous and bleak.
I better find that passion,
before such a life takes hold of me.

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TABEGAUCHE

Soft peaks and rolling hills.
Sand shaped by the wind.
Undulating and smooth.
Desert valleys begin.

Cracked earth and
jagged white rock
leading to ridges
and flat tops.

This land is alien
and forever empty.
Void of all movement
no living thing to see.

Though it is strange,
there is a sullen beauty.
A digestion of the unknown
and the wonder that fills me.

DRIFT

A cloud drifts by casting shadows on the ground.
The shadows are in front of me;
their shape fluid and curved.
I step lightly behind them,
not wishing to leave the warmth of the sun.
Perhaps, I think, I should follow and see where they might go.
Perhaps, I think, they may show me a secret, something untold.

The movement varies in speed.
Fast then slow.
Fast then slow.
I keep the tempo never faltering and never losing site even though
the path becomes uneven and the world around unfamiliar
in all it’s characteristics and flow.

Uncertainty fogs my mind
and I begin to question my actions.
Perhaps, I think, I should go no further.
Perhaps, I think, this is not a destiny that I should force onward.

But like a riddle to the thinker,
my curiosity demands me to know –
Where do these shadows go?

The sun dips down and expands their seams.
Quicker is my step to stay on the edge,
and stranger is the world as light bends and sets.

When I take my focus away from my task,
the things I see around me are alarming.
My heart is pounding,
creating caverns in my chest.
For what is beyond is distressing and gives way to unrest.
Perhaps, I think, I have gone too far.
Perhaps, I think, returning is an optimistic farce.

With a sudden but silent shift through the air,
the shadows stretch
and then vanish.

Where does the night end?
And how did it so easily begin?

I have lost them,
and now stand in a flood of darkness,
unsure of my direction
and left with so many
unanswered questions.

SPOKEN WORDS

These words
I am speaking
are ringing
with echoes down the hall.

Old and familiar
but still distant.
The sound is empty
and hollow.
And how I’ve felt about them
for so long.

I repeat,
regurgitate,
and mime.
It’s an act
for those around me,
to help strengthen their beliefs
and answer the uncertainties of mine.

The Seven: Before the Fall – 1

” Sarah?”

A pause.

“Sarah? Are you even listening to me?”

Sarah closed her locker door, revealing April’s wide-eyed, upturned expression. She leaned her head back onto the thin, grey metal door behind her. “Did you hear what I said?”

Sarah sighed and gave her friend a weak smile. “Yes, loud and clear.”

April puckered her lips. “Well being loud is one of my best traits.”

They laughed.

“But seriously,” April snapped back into her direct tone. “The party starts at eight. And everyone is going to be there. Everyone,” she tilted her head down as if to whisper, “including you know who.”

Sarah snorted. “How do you even know that?”

April tossed back her long, black hair over her shoulder. “I have sources. You know this.”

“God, April. Sally doesn’t know anything. That girl can’t tell you what she ate for breakfast – if she remembered to even eat it. She’d feed anyone a story so long as it kept you listening to her.”

April rolled her eyes and tossed her hair to the other side. “Well” she said, holding on the ell, “just let me know alright. I know Sally can be-” she paused, “-a little flimsy on her information, but I think she is right on this one.”

They started walking down the hall. The crowd getting sparse as the class bell loomed.

Sarah bit her lip. If he was going to be there, then she should be there. But if he wasn’t, it was just going to be another typical high-school party with lots of drinking. And lots of gossip.

“Okay,” she said quietly before they entered the science room.

April let out a squeal. “I’ll pick you up at nine on the corner. Lights out as usual.”

SUMMER BREEZE

Can you feel
the summer breeze
that’s sweeping in?

Bringing with it
the sweet aroma
of warm evenings
spent under the sky.
Glasses of wine
lounged with friends
at your side.
Conversations free and fleeting
laughter and the subtle beating
of hearts.

Stars blink
and the moon shines.
Comfortable in their light
the night spans into forever.
And you never ask why
but you bathe in it
and love every second.

RESPECT MY MIND

There is pain in my skull
from all the pressure inside.
It’s pounding bone
and trying to bust through
my eyes.

But I am here
sitting and wondering
how it got to be.
How it became
such agony.

Stretched thin
is my patience.
Boiling
is my blood.
Bedlam
is the logic.
Thoughts
like sludge.

Thought I truly try to succeed,
I feel like
every question you frame
is a trap.
and – GOD –
I am getting tired
of the act.

Petty, cyclic, futile,
and worth no one’s time.
Can I ask you just for once
to be an adult
and respect my mind?