Bridge the Gap

Sometimes,

there is a lapse

in my brain.
Do you know?
Its like a missed beat,

a skipping record,

a scratched CD.
I am one place,

and then another.

No recollection.

No memory of the in between.
Is it repitition?

Is it boredom?

Is it too much focus on distant reality?
Its like I am asleep

in this world

and awake in another

but only for a moment.
Do I bridge the gap

and then snap back

without remembering?

Moving…

Thanks to everyone’s patience with me as the blogging schedule has been sparse. I’ve been in the process of moving to a new city the past month and it has been HECTIC. The good news, however, is that I have finally found all my stuff and am getting back into a schedule. I look forward to getting a new post uploaded soon!

TOXIC

My heart beats loud
in my chest
as the nerves
give way to unrest.

A toxic potion
of anxiety and depression.
I swallowed it whole
and can feel the pressure.

With my mind
I tried to push the weight
but after hours,
I was still in the same place.

Trapped
by my own emotion.
Frantically
grappling with though erosion.

I’ve sent out the flare
and am waiting on the answer.
Will time bring someone
to be my savior?

AFTERNOON

Not sure where I want to go or if I’m even going anywhere on this one…but that’s just what excerpts are…

My back was aching again. I pushed the fabric cart forward trying to diminish the pain, but it kept sweeping up my spine. Pausing in the hall, I lightly pressed my fingers on the lower part of my back and straightened.

Four more hours to go. These sheets weren’t going to wash themselves.

I stooped back down and headed for the elevator.

A young girl waited there, dressed in a yellow pleated skirt holding tight to a small blue purse. Her face was scrunched as she stared down at the patterned carpet of the hall.

Hello.” I smiled warmly.

She glanced quickly at me and then brought her eyes straight back to the floor. I frowned. I usually at least get a smile back from young ones.

The elevator dinged and slid open, inviting us into it’s dull metallic shimmer. I waited for her to walk in and then shifted my weight to slide the cart across the threshold, feeling by back tighten as I pushed.

Stubbing in the plastic button for level one, I turned and asked, “What floor, hun?”

She shrugged and continued her downward look. Her right hand tightened on her purse.

Alrighty,” I whispered under my breathe. “Hopefully one it is.”
A strange, nas
al whine began to come from the corner where she stood as the elevator began it’s descent. Her face wrinkled and tears began running from her eyes.

Surprised by the girls reaction, I asked, “Do you have a fear of elevators or something?”

She shook her head violently, wiping her hand across her nose. “No….it’s just…”

My eyes widened as I waited for her to finish the sentence, which took some effort as she struggled to composed herself.

I’m pregnant,” she finally said.

The elevator dinged as the shiny doors slid open. Unsure of how to reply, I stood at the doors motionless. Do I comfort her? Or should I be looking for her parents? Why was she by herself anyway?

But before I had decided on the answer, the girl rushed past me in a daze and began sprinting down the hall. I watched as she ran out the glass door and turned towards the street.

CARRY ME

Can you carry me?
Because I can’t.
I’ve carried so many so far.
I’ve been used, borrowed, begged and forced.
I can no longer take this course.

Can I ask you how it became this way?
What has changed you to the person so?
I don’t think you know.
Nobody does.

I am sick of this.
I am tired and low.
Can I rely on someone else for once?
Once?
Once!

For me,
not their image of me.
Their projection of me.
The actual me.

I was told that ignorance is bliss.
The older I get,
The more truth I see to it.
For what the ignorant don’t carry, I must.
And it is a long, weary road.
Can you carry me?

ENDS OF THE EARTH – Lord Huron

Led by Ben Schneider, Lord Huron is an Indie-folk band out of Los Angeles with a smooth, rolling sound. “Lonesome Dreams” was their freshman album released in 2012, largely composed of songs Schneider himself wrote while surrounded with the beauty of the Michigan area around Lake Huron.

Ends of the Earth is the first track starting with a gentle rhythm guitar and subtle humming harmony. The initial sound itself puts me in the mind of a western, perhaps the start of a day rising to the morning sun. Schneider then starts in describing rivers un-traced, mountains un-climbed, and land untouched by time. And that is where Lord Huron began to steal my heart.

This song is filled with imagery of the world left to be discovered and found. “To the ends of the earth would you follow me/There’s a world that was meant for our eyes to see.” He goes on to ask, a lover perhaps, if she would follow him. If she said no, then it was time for them to say their goodbyes and he to go on wandering alone.

The steady pace of this song seems to fits perfectly with the theme. The percussion is gated to a point that reminds me of a gallop with a nice echo that resounds in endless space. At other points the violin mimics trills that gives way to a fluttering, light feeling. Birds dancing in the sky? Or just the excited emotion for an unknown adventure? There are several layers in the song to be explored on their own – so much that I think the live experience would be amazing.

One of my favorite lines from Ends of the Earth is “What good is livin’ a life you’ve been given/ If all you do is stand in one place.” As an avid hiker, wanna-be explorer, and someone that rarely says no to something unfamiliar and new, I love that lyric. Experience has always mattered more to me than the material side of things. I couldn’t imagine always staying put, doing the same job, and living the way as everyone before me. Don’t misunderstand me – for some people that is their dream – but for me, “there’s a world that calls…” and I’m always trying to “head() out into the unknown.”

Please take a listen and check out the neat-o animated music video here. Don’t forget to check out the full lyrics below.

Enjoy!

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“Ends of the Earth” by Lord Huron

Oh, there’s a river that winds on forever
I’m gonna see where it leads
Oh, there’s a mountain that no man has mounted
I’m gonna stand on the peak

Out there’s a land that time don’t command
Wanna be the first to arrive
No time for ponderin’ why I’m-a wanderin’
Not while we’re both still alive

To the ends of the earth, would you follow me
There’s a world that was meant for our eyes to see
To the ends of the earth, would you follow me
If you won’t, I must say my goodbyes to thee

Oh, there’s an island where all things are silent
I’m gonna whistle a tune
Oh, there’s a desert that size can’t be measured
I’m gonna count all the dunes

Out there’s a world that calls for me, girl
Headin’ out into the unknown
Well if there are strangers, and all kinds of danger
Please don’t say I’m going alone

To the ends of the earth, would you follow me
There’s a world that was meant for our eyes to see
To the ends of the earth, would you follow me
Well if you want, I will say my goodbyes to thee

I was a-ready to die for you, baby
Doesn’t mean I’m ready to stay
What good is livin’ a life you’ve been given
If all you do is stand in one place

I’m on a river that winds on forever
Follow ’til I get where I’m goin’
Maybe I’m headin’ to die but I’m still gonna try
I guess I’m goin’ alone