So peaceful is the outer world
from the panes of my window.
Something I may have missed
had my mind not woken me
at that peculiar midnight hour.
All the footsteps have been silenced.
A cool sheen of white is
unassumingly comforting
in the cold.
The jagged branches of the juniper
have become round in banks of snow.
The moonlight glistens on the surface
and the night is brighter than imagined.
“Next to Normal” is the second song on Lucius’s fourth studio album, Second Nature. The album was released back in April 2022 and features the harmonious duet, Holly Laessig and Jess Wolfe. While the pair are often providing vocal collaborations to other well-known artists (Harry Styles, John Legend, Brandi Carlisle, Sheryl Crow to name a few), the Berklee College of Music grads voices pitched together create the eclectic sounds that is Lucius.
What first drives me to “Next to Normal” is the groovy bass line that comes in after a few distorted guitar riffs. The volume of sound begins to die down when the ladies come in, mimicking each other’s voices perfectly. Though I’m not a fan of the volume change, I do enjoy the lyrics that start in on this funky disco tune: “I’ve lost some friends along the way / laughing at the wrong times/ saying things too straight.” Our narrator is clearly not shy or diffident.
The words go on to describe a situation I imagine most of us have faced at some point – being yourself or undesirably modifying yourself to fit with everyone else. If you are an outlier, maybe you’ve even begun to question whether you belonged within a group or was seen as a strange person. “Turns out I wasn’t crazy at all / I just had some walls up / that needed breaking.” It’s ok to be different and it actually doesn’t matter what other people think.
When we dive into the chorus, my favorite part of this song comes in. Lucius spins an “oooooh” and releases it into the ether, almost like a paranormal siren call. The lyrics go on to describe a relationship that makes one feel “next to normal / I feel immortal / I’m high without the paranoia,” as if the narrator has found someone that sees them for themselves, and, consequently, the narrator can let go and just be themselves. High without the paranoia has got to be a pretty good feeling.
The next verse delves into the same thematical material of letting go of trying to fit in and embracing the abnormal before we bring it into a sound wall of the chorus with so many of those oh so great “ooohs.” This song is exceptionally hard to not dance to, which is in line with Lucius’s thoughts on the album to “not to sit in the difficult moments, but to dance through them” per a Rolling Stone’s interview. Dawning some glitter, wild color patterns, and gogo boots seems fitting for hitting that dance floor when this one comes on.
Take a listen to the song here and check out the lyrics below.
Happy listening!
“Next to Normal” by Lucius
I’ve lost some friends along the way
Laughing at the wrong times
Saying things too straight
I don’t want to die
Just trying to be myself
When everyone’s the same
It’s time to separate yourself
I thought that I was off
I was just mistaken
Turns out I wasn’t crazy at all
I just had some walls up
That needed breaking
Ooooh, when I’m close to you, I’m next to normal
I feel immortal
I’m high without the paranoia
Ooooh, when I’m close to you, I’m next to normal
I feel immortal
I’m high without the paranoia
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
So I’m sick and tired of words I lost
All of this translation
I was overcompensating
I should have known
That they weren’t in for the hang
I guess they couldn’t picture
How I don’t fit in the frame
I thought that I was off
I was just mistaken
Turns out I wasn’t crazy at all
I just had some walls up
That needed breaking
I think I know who I’m gonna call
[Ooooh, when I’m close to you, I’m next to normal
I feel immortal
I’m high without the paranoia] x 6
In the thick of the forest,
under a network of creeping vine,
sits a house
dilapidated and heavily touched by time.
No one has lived there
for as many years as anyone can remember.
The wood floor has turned to dust
and nature has had the roof dismembered.
Children dare each other
to peek into the windows.
Fear shakes their bones
as they work up the courage
just to get close.
What do they think they will see?
Through the dusty lens
into the mold and rot of past
Perhaps,
its a ghost they hope to catch.
There are tales about this house
no one knows which are true.
Though most seem to crave
the story about two.
A young couple moves in
to start a life anew.
Just married
and with so many things to do.
The house becomes a home
and love continues to blossom.
Their world seems to perfect;
nothing is forgotten.
Until one night
as they laid down to sleep.
A loud knock sent them upright
and onto their feet.
But there was no one at the door
nor waiting out front.
Just the crickets screeching.
Was it a child’s stunt?
They decided it was nothing
and went back to bed
and for several nights more they rested easy.
Nothing yet to dread.
But as unexpected as before,
came that knock
jilting them from dreams,
tying their stomachs into knots.
And the knock kept coming,
turning from a single hit to more,
the repetition was haunting
and they began to realize
that it did not come from their front door.
So they began to stay awake
to try to find the source.
Surely there was an explanation.
Something logical with recourse.
Tracing the sound through the house
they resolutely decided on the location.
And after a few arguments
moved the table and waited.
The knocking began
vibrating the wood floor.
Whatever the origin,
it was below the boards.
With two hammers and a saw,
they got to work.
Removing the section of floor,
to see what would be unearthed.
Under most of the floor
were the joists that sat
firmly on the short posts
routed deep into the ground
where they were cast.
But in the spot uncovered
they found a hole.
Big enough for a person
and too dark to see where it goes.
Grabbing a flashlight,
they peered down into the dark,
but could see nobody
nor an end from the start.
Covering it back with the boards
and a heavy chair.
They decided they would explore it in the morning.
Daylight would have more light to spare.
Was it an old well?
They husband wondered.
Some kind of drainage pit?
The wife pondered.
The house was older
and changes had been made around.
But both were wrong.
And both would soon find out.
In the morning,
they removed their makeshift lock
and peered down once more
as they dropped a rock.
The stone tumbled downward
while they waited for some time,
until the sound of a splash echoed back,
which to one was a surprise.
The test told them
that the tunnel was quite long
and for someone to climb up it
seemed a stretch to believe on.
Against the exhaustion that plagued them
they took watch by the hole.
The sun sat on the horizon;
night again took hold.
They stared with weary eyes
so it took time to register
the pale hand that grabbed the edge
and the strange face that peered over.
The wife gasped in horror
the husband stood in alarm
grabbing one of the hammers,
with an upward swing of his arm.
The creature could not be human
though it smiled with crooked teeth.
It was other-worldly;
some kind of black sheep.
The husband didn’t wait to find out
what the thing had planned.
He swung hard at it’s head.
A good spot for the steel to land.
But the swing went through the ghostly figure
and into the eye of his wife
who sat on the other side,
frozen by the bizarre turn in her life.
She let out a cry
then fell back onto the floor.
The husband screamed in anguish
as the creature laughed
and rocked back and forth.
It then slipped back into it’s earthen door
and the husband
now full of rage
could not let this go and dove in head first
to what may be his grave.
A few weeks later,
the police went by the house.
A woman with an eye patch let them in.
Everything was tidy and sound.
She told them again
that she hadn’t seen him.
She was sure he had gone down that hole
to chase the creature that had terrorized them.
With suspicion they asked,
May we take a look?
She shrugged and got up,
lifting a section of floor with a hammer’s hook.
They peered down
only to find
a large slab of concrete
which was taken as a bad sign.
But she merely laughed and said,
I listened for him for a while
me and my pounding head,
but no sound ever came,
not even the knock that we came to dread.
I couldn’t sleep with it
open all the time.
So I decided to seal it shut,
encase it with something impenetrable,
something that can’t easily budge.
So no one will make this mistake again.
Only we will be the fools.
But everyone stiffened,
as the ring of metal on concrete
echoed in the floor.
When he opened the door, the light on the other side was brighter. A shimmer painted the air.
But then the door closed, and it was as before.
“Impossible,” muttered Terrence looking up at the tall, solid glass doors. He could see straight through them to the patterned concrete sidewalks and parking lot beyond. Shadows stretched long signaling the end of the afternoon. His red Mazda sat at the edge, a thin layer of salt and mud coating its exterior.
Glancing around the lobby, he paused on the other pair of glass doors opposite him, leading to an identical parking area. He’d walked through the doors every weekday and some weekends for the past eighteen years. Why was today so different?
Again, he opened the door and stayed at the threshold. Beyond was the same parking lot but with less cars. His was still at the edge but sparkling clean. On the far side of the lot, the grass had recently been cut and a small planter bloomed with flowers.
Terrence shook his head and stepped back, letting the door close. The gray day returned.
He began contemplating what the door could mean. Was it the beginning of dementia? What this what his father had felt so many years ago? Or maybe something more troublesome, schizophrenia breaking its way through?
No, he reasoned. He wouldn’t be able to pinpoint his own hallucination if that were the case. Or even break down a cause. This had to be something different.
“Afternoon, Dr. Johnson!”
Terrence flinched at Alice’s voice as she walked through the lobby.
“Another winter day out there, huh? I don’t blame you for holding off on walking out into that cold.” She chuckled as she tightened her coat. “Well, I will see you tomorrow!”
Terrence opened his mouth to respond but she had already turned and walked out. Straight through the glass doors. He strained his eyes staring through, looking for her beyond. But there was nothing – she had disappeared.
He scratched his beard – could she be on the other side now, waiting on him to let her back in? Had she even noticed the change? Perhaps she was there but in some other dimensional web?
Curiosity overwhelming him, he pushed open the door. But she wasn’t there, and neither was the strange brightness. Just the same gray he could see before the glass. The shimmer was gone.
Deciding the moment had passed, he walked through. Disappointment clouded over him as he weighed his hesitation. For a moment, he had believed he was part of something extraordinary.
He sighed out loud – why had he even thought that. It had to be some kind of optical illusion. The sun angle, new glass treatment, something…there was a logical answer somewhere. He couldn’t solve it today but would check again tomorrow. And the day after if need be.
And next time, he decided, I won’t wait.
I knew he would figure it out eventually. Two people can’t live so entwined in one another’s life and not discover what each other keeps locked away in their minds.
It took a while. Longer than the first.
Under my skin, hidden in the folds of fractured smiles and inflated words, lied the darkness. The filth. The coarse thoughts and wholly unforgiving soul. The ugly truth that hides, buried deep inside.
I let it float around, time to time. Remembering the way it felt. The strange comfort mixed with a blissful rush.
Could it have turned out differently? Is there a world where I don’t follow such a disavowed path? A different choice, a different time so the lines of my future trajectory would tie together, knotted and tied to the normal and accepted.
He knows the things I did. The things I would still like to do.
I can tell by the way he looks into my eyes. The primal fear that radiates from his posture and placid face. He can see the darkness. And he can’t look away.
Pity.
The air stills for a moment;
the sky takes a deep breathe.
Exhaling and everything goes into motion;
pushing until there is nothing left.
Trees flutter and flicker,
spilling little drops of light,
reflecting the sun
and it’s warm delight.
Waterlogged colors streak over the clouds,
reminding us of the strangeness
of the storm
that surrounds.
Not sure where I want to go or if I’m even going anywhere on this one…but that’s just what excerpts are…
My back was aching again. I pushed the fabric cart forward trying to diminish the pain, but it kept sweeping up my spine. Pausing in the hall, I lightly pressed my fingers on the lower part of my back and straightened.
Four more hours to go. These sheets weren’t going to wash themselves.
I stooped back down and headed for the elevator.
A young girl waited there, dressed in a yellow pleated skirt holding tight to a small blue purse. Her face was scrunched as she stared down at the patterned carpet of the hall.
“Hello.” I smiled warmly.
She glanced quickly at me and then brought her eyes straight back to the floor. I frowned. I usually at least get a smile back from young ones.
The elevator dinged and slid open, inviting us into it’s dull metallic shimmer. I waited for her to walk in and then shifted my weight to slide the cart across the threshold, feeling by back tighten as I pushed.
Stubbing in the plastic button for level one, I turned and asked, “What floor, hun?”
She shrugged and continued her downward look. Her right hand tightened on her purse.
“Alrighty,” I whispered under my breathe. “Hopefully one it is.”
A strange, nasal whine began to come from the corner where she stood as the elevator began it’s descent. Her face wrinkled and tears began running from her eyes.
Surprised by the girls reaction, I asked, “Do you have a fear of elevators or something?”
She shook her head violently, wiping her hand across her nose. “No….it’s just…”
My eyes widened as I waited for her to finish the sentence, which took some effort as she struggled to composed herself.
“I’m pregnant,” she finally said.
The elevator dinged as the shiny doors slid open. Unsure of how to reply, I stood at the doors motionless. Do I comfort her? Or should I be looking for her parents? Why was she by herself anyway?
But before I had decided on the answer, the girl rushed past me in a daze and began sprinting down the hall. I watched as she ran out the glass door and turned towards the street.
Islands in the sky
float by
like feathers.
They hold a land
filled
with hidden treasures.
There are billowing seas
of magenta and white.
And mountains clothed in gold.
Their wondrous creations
are ever changing,
pulled by the wind
and formed by no one known.
I often wonder
if there are creatures
in this elevated forest,
flitting about.
Wings carry them,
island to island.
Never staying in one place.
The sun,
lighting the way around.
I only ever
get a glimpse of this
strange paradise.
So high in the heavens,
It is only there for a few seconds
and then we are on our way down.
zeven writes 